She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
