I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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