Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
