he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
