she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
