I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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