What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize