Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
