Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
