just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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