I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
