So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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