MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
