Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
