Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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