Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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