So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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