I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
