I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
