Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
