why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
