everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
