took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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