I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
that's an acceptable place to lick
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize