no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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