He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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