Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
