please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
