are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
