You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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