I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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