The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
