people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
