No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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