You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you would pick up someone in the library
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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