Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
