No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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