I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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