My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
