We're facebook friends in real life
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
