What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
