Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
