I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
