At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
