He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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