in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
