His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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