What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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