I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
