Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Bring me that man meat
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
