I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
