You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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