i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
