Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
