why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I love you.
Bad choice
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
