i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she told me i tasted like america
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
