it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
