Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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